The DAO of Fancy Water, by personality type

Have you ever had this happen to you – you go to a restaurant with a group of people, and the waiter comes around with a pitcher dripping with condensed iced tap water filling your glasses up. Then he/she asks if you would like anything else to drink, or are interested in still or sparkling water. That moment where everyone locks gazes in the ultimate awkward moment – do you stick with the tap or order the fancy water? Usually the person picking up the check decides.

I came across this article when I was exploring some of the claims behind fancy waters, and it got me thinking about how something so simple is now a complex decision to make in our daily lives.

Nowadays, everyone going in on fancy water is becoming more common and more socially acceptable. These days, water could have its own wine list. Many fancy brands promise to deliver more than good taste – they are “infused,” “will balance PH” and “alkalizing”. There’s even water that looks like cola but is really water. And sparkling water goes far beyond Pellegrino.

There are also waters with herbal infusion. Recently, SmartWater produced its line of fruit and hebral infused waters, all designed to quench your thirst and elevate your wellness routine. : Clarity: Ginseng + Green Tea Extracts, Tranquility :Ashwagandha +Tangerine Extracts, Renew : Dandelion + lemon extracts.

There’s no more just popping into 7-11 for a quick water bottle while you are on the road. Everytime I look at those clear glass doors, I am sucked into a vortex of indecision. WHICH FANCY WATER DO I PICK??? This post breaks down fancy water by personality type to help with that decision.

In San Pellegrino, Italy. This is how seriously I take my water.

The purifying, pH balancing,”alkaline” waters- CORE, Smartwater, Propel, Penta, Essentia

You love this water if you are an athlete or spend a lot of time in the gym pumping iron. Whether the alkaline claims have any truth doesn’t bother you, because this water makes you feel pumped and perfectly compliments your pre-workout powder. You are kind of a diva and maybe a little bit of a show off but you somehow manage to pull it off.

The soda-like waters: blk,La Croix, Buble, Zevia, spindrift

You spend a lot of time on Tik Tok and loved root beer and Fanta soft drinks as a kid. This is the next best thing. You also may not have drank actual spring water in 10 years.

The restaurant/hotel room waters: Acqua Panna, S. Pellegrino, VOSS, Perrier

You are a traditionalist, who will always order this water in a glass, with no ice and a twist of citrus. You have a lot of credit card point and frequent flyer miles. Also, you would never be caught dead in sneakers with business attire.

The volcanic rock, earth or mountain waters: Volvic, WAIĀKEA, Fiji, Evian, Flow, Icelandic, Mountain Valley

You use the word “sustainable” and “carbon neutral” a lot and probably dreamed of being a lawyer or accountant when you were seven. You also value quality over practicability, even if the water bottle won’t fit into a car cup holder.

The old-school water: Poland Spring Kirkland, Deer Park, Acquafina, Dasani

You consider yourself down’-to-earth and above all the bougie people who prefer the above-described fancy waters. You enjoy buying large cases of discounted product in bulk and water is no exception. It’s a perfect thing to throw into the trunk on your next camping trip.

Is paying for electrolytes and alkaline worth it?

Many waters contain electrolytes and “alkalizing” ingredients. The main premise backing alkaline water is that it aids in neutralizing pH in the body thrown off by acidic diets. According to experts, howvever, the claim of pH or alkalizing balance is basically meaningless because the stomach and large intenstine absorb and neutralize the pH in the contents of what you consume including the fancy water. So any pH changes in the water itself will already be altered by passing through your system before it hits your blood stream.

Flow and Blk market their water products as non-GMO, however, water isn’t normally riddled with GMOs. This is just “halo labeling” that is similar to “gluten-free”, which now you can find on packaages of strawberries.

Also, electrolytes are basically salt. If you are going to be working out for over an hour, running or walking in the heat, or have an upset stomach, this water could be a good idea, but isn’t necessary for everyday consumption.

The environment

There is also the environment to consider. While I am certainly not here to be an environmental spokesperson, the statistic of how much bottled water waste damages our environment is sobering. For example, from one website:

Every single second, 1,000 people open a bottle of water in the U.S.
Each day, people in the U.S. throw away more than 60 million plastic water bottles, most of which end up in landfills or as litter in America’s streets, parks and waterways.

There are ways that you can cut down on bottled water consumption, especially in your home:

Buy a faucet filter. This article describes some of the best brands on the market.
Invest in a Soda stream if you like sparkling water. You can have bottles of sparkling water ready to drink in the fridge.
Obviously, many of us have some variety of water bottle. If you are going to the gym, fill up your water bottle at home and then again from the water staition at the gym or boutique studio so you have water with you for the ride/walk home.

There is furious debate over whether bottled water is safer than tap water, There is evidence that lead and other contaminants can still be in unfiltered tap water. For many people, it’s simply an issue of taste. To some they may taste the same but others may have a different palate. I can taste and appreciate the difference, and I won’t let anyone superimpose their taste buds on me!