silhouette photography of person
The world - and you - are limitlless. Photo by Greg Rakozy

The DAO guide to the Law of Attraction

“Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor” – Rumi

You may have come across the law of attraction in various ways – a meme, a LinkedIn post, a conversation. It’s more than just “positive thinking”. It’s harnessing the power of infinite possibility. These are two very different concepts. This article will explain what is the law of attraction and how applying its principles can make very significant and immediate changes to your life. 

What IS the law of attraction?

The law of attraction boils down to a simple truth about our human existence -we are in complete control of what we focus on. Consider what you are doing right now – reading this article. At any given moment, you can stop and focus on something else – and that something else is usually something you can see or easily visualize. 

The choices are not entirely conscious, but arise from pre-existing thoughts and beliefs. Here’s an easy example: you are considering getting a puppy. Where you may not have paid more than cursory attention to people walking their dogs, now there seem to be dogs everywhere, and you notice things about them that you didn’t notice before. That focus becomes almost like tunnel vision.

The law of attraction boils down to accepting infinite possibility – and letting go of outcomes. So if you don’t end up getting that dog, that job, that promotion, that person, it’s because the universe has a plan and to believe that we need to have faith in the unseen, the unspoken, even the unimaginable.

Why do we need it?

The ultimate wants common to all of us can be simplified by just two things – emotional security, and financial security. Fear of financial insecurity is real for some of us, but there are ways we can alleviate that situation – investments, savings, debt consolidations, attracting greater employment.

Emotional insecurity is the root of our feelings of fear, worry, anger, and frustration. Instead of jumping to addressing the immediate feelings or the situation causing them, the law of attraction allows you to dig deeper and adjust your lens so that you won’t see the world the same way. It’s attracting a greater employment for our minds.

empty concrete road covered surrounded by tall tress with sun rays
Sometimes the road not taken is the road taken. Photo by JOHN TOWNER

Don’t you notice that the best things in your life happened through events that were totally out of your control? I bet you can think of at least three examples. You were in exactly the right place at exactly the right time. If you had been five minutes earlier, you would have missed it. Or maybe what you wanted came to you after you let go. You met the right person when you were happy being single. You got pregnant once you gave up trying. You didn’t get that promotion after working hard for it, but then all of a sudden you got your dream job because someone reached out to you when you didn’t expect it. That problem just magically got solved on its own after you stopped trying to control it.

That’s the magic – that’s the law of attraction. 

So how can you benefit from it? 

You will stop trying to control every damn thing in your life (and everyone else’s)

Under the law of attraction principles, fear is at the root of all difficulties. That fear drives the need to control, because we are afraid if we do not control the situation, it will not turn out the way we want or expect. Like the conductor in an orchestra, we think that if we try hard enough, and arrange the music in just the right way, like will be this smooth symphony. 

Sure. There’s a chance that the result could be exactly what we are hoping for. 

And there’s a chance it could not. We all have experienced that.

That’s usually when most of us dig our heels further into the quicksand. “I’ve already invested all this time,” “If I can just manipulate this situation or person, it will get the result I want,” “I can’t quit.” We are wired to reject the possibility of infinite outcomes. Because of this wiring, we get  extremely attached to anything tangible -whether it is people, places or things –  that comes into our immediate orbit. That reality that seems to be the answer, the ticket to alleviating the discomfort, to getting what you want.

That’s why the law of attraction is so counterintuitive. It takes a lot more mental strength to let go of attachment to outcomes. You have to stop and step back, identifying this behavior. You have to call bullsh*& on your brain. Remember, it’s lying to you.

If you understand that what you believe right now may not even be true, it is easier to detach from it. Better yet, write a different story. Instead of, “this has to work out the way I think it should” think “this will work out exactly the way it was meant to happen, even if doesn’t make sense right now.” Once you do that, you will have more energy, becasue you won’t be burning it trying to orchestrate everything around you.

You will be happier 

And why is that? Because you will accept that every situation is temporary. Those feelings are not facts. That acceptance of the current reality is much easier when you have the running assumption that the universe is in flux. Anything can change at any time. I was talking to one of my mentees about her law school class rank as of the first year. She was concerned she wouldn’t look as attractive to employers because she was only in the top quarter, not the top third. By focusing on the temporary nature of the situation, you can steer yourself toward infinite possibilities. In that example, it’s possible that after next year, she could end up in the top 10. Have you ever looked back at how much time you spent in morbid reflection of a situation that ended up turning out not just good, but great? The only thing we have is the present moment. That happiness cannot be conditioned on a future we feel obligated to control. That happiness comes from believing that the future will unravel in a most unexpected fashion. One that will be full of intrigue, thrill, and a revelation that will make everything that is happening right now make sense. 

 That happiness is only possible to experience now, no matter what the reality of this moment is. Ultimately, this world is a creation of our imaginations. By training to protect your imagination, you will protect your happiness and well-being, also.

You will get that failure is part of the plan

At the company Goretex, they have a party every time an invention fails.  That’s a common thread underlying the law of attraction- that every failure is never a waste of time because that’s a necessary step to lead you to an even better possibility you could not have anticipated or controlled.  

You can dwell on the failure, or the fear of failure. Or you can dwell on your faith- faith that this failure is a catalyst for something great.

Think of the law of attraction like an endless horizon – you can’t see beyond it, but you know there is a life that exists there. A better one.

You will be a magnet for positive outcomes

That’s the last component of the law of attraction – acting as if. I probably can explain this better with another  story that relates to the derailment I just described. After the crash of 2012, I was single for 3 years. For the first year, I reveled in my freedom and independence, investing all my energy into my career, chasing every opportunity and hurling all my energy into each one.  I wasn’t even thinking about settling down (for what I regarded as prison) again 

Until that longing started to occur – not from loneliness, but from the instinct that I needed to start a new chapter with a partner in crime.  Dating was disappointing.  Since when were emojis an acceptable way of asking a girl out? Especially one who doesn’t have time to text during the day. 

Then, something changed. I decided that I didn’t need that tangible thing to feel tha happiness of being in love. I started listening to love songs on my walk to work, and daydreaming about someone who didn’t exist yet. I made a list of what my ideal partner would be like and kept it taped to my mirror. I knew that person was just around the corner. That knowing allowed me to focus more on my career, my friends, and my family because I had that comfort that the yes was coming, even if I didn’t know when.  I deleted my social media because it was attracting all the wrong kinds of people. Most importantly, I said it out loud. One night, I sent a message to my parents that I believe set off a catalysts of events – I put it, in writing, that I believed in love.

A month after I sent that text, I randomly ran into my husband. No one, not even me, saw him coming. “The one” I had been waiting for years finally showed up, exactly when I didn’t expect it or was even thinking about it . Typical to form, my head was buried in my phone respondng to a client email. The universe literally had to scream and shout to get my attention. But that’s the fact. It always comes to you like that.

And I still saved that text:

“Maman” and “Baba” = Mom and Dad in Persian.

Just remember 

Even if things are crazy complicated right now at work or at home, like they are for all of us, don’t have amnesia about all of the amazing things like this that happened to you. Knowing this was possible in the past will fuel your faith toward trusting that in some way, this will work out, even if you don’t know how, or when. Everytime I feel  that way, I look back at that text and remember that I could have never anticipated how this story would be written. Your story is still being written. Let go and anticipate things coming to you without any effort. The more you can do that, the more effrotless life will be.

You can read more about the law of attraction in the below articles. I have also linked to a great meditation which will help you visualize and manifest these outcomes.

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