Lately I have noticed an uptick in one niche of entertainment that I will call the “Grifter Docudrama”. It’s all about lies – but not just one-off lies, lies that are perpetuated for years, catapult people to success, and then once they are found out, are torn down and shamed by society. What is more intriguing than the virtue-signaling is the key mistakes these characters, real and fictional, made. If they had lied more strategically, or quit while they were ahead, they may never have been exposed. It’s now all about “telling your truth” – and that is a very grey area in today’s society.
After all, Lance Armstrong lied for years about doping, and as one of the longest documentaries I have ever seen (30 for 30 on Netflix) explains, he would not have been found out if he hadn’t returned to cycling after retiring. The main point of that documentary was that EVERYBODY doped and EVERYBODY lied about it.
I love playing the devil’s advocate. So what about a hot take on lying? Lance had a point – EVERYBODY lies. At some point. Even the most virtuous person on earth. Even Jesus lied (though this is the subject of much Biblical scholar debate).
While honesty is generally considered a virtue, it may not always the best policy. Deceit may call. But if you answer, don’t go down a rabbit hold that you can’t dig yourself out of, like the stories I will describe below. There is a science and a strategy to lying, when the situation calls for it Just ask any woman if her weight matches what she has on her driver’s license!
The Content
Peacock’s Anatomy of Lies – The Story of Grey’s Anatomy Writer Elisabeth Finch
“Anatomy of Lies” is a documentary or investigative piece about Elisabeth Finch, a former writer for Grey’s Anatomy, who became embroiled in controversy over fabrications she made about her personal life. Finch had built a reputation as an inspiring figure, drawing from her alleged experiences of having cancer and other personal traumas, which she often wove into the medical drama’s storylines. However, it was later revealed that much of what she claimed — including her cancer diagnosis — was fabricated. There are several very interesting articles in Vanity Fair delving into even more details in a Part I and Part II.
Sweet Bobby (Netflix show and podcast)
Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is a Netflix documentary that recounts the story of Kirat Assi, a woman who was deceived for nearly a decade by a catphishing sceheme where the scammer posed as a fictitious romantic partner named “Bobby Jandu”. The worst part of this is that the perpetrator took advantage of a lot of known close relationships in the Sikh community in London, primarily, and that there were multiple networks of fictitious characters in a scheme that ran for over 10 years. I was so hooked when I saw the Netflix show that I listened to all 6 episodes of the podcast. If you don’t have the patience for the length of the podcast or the documentary, there is an excellent recap on the Desi radio channel! (another great True Crime Gem)
Inventing Anna (The Anna Delvey Story)
“Inventing Anna” on Netflix is a dramatized series based on the true story of Anna Sorokin, a Russian-born con artist who posed as a wealthy German heiress named “Anna Delvey.” Between 2013 and 2017, Anna Sorokin scammed New York’s social elite, hotels, banks, and friends out of hundreds of thousands of dollars by convincing them she had a $60 million fortune that was tied up in overseas accounts.
The show is created by Shonda Rhimes, who is IRONICALLY the Grey’s Anatomy head writer and executive producer Elisabeth Finch from the prior story managed to bamboozle (art imitating art?) It is inspired by an article in New York Magazine by Jessica Pressler, titled “How Anna Delvey Tricked New York’s Party People.” It follows Anna’s rise as she navigates Manhattan’s high society, attending glamorous parties, staying in luxury hotels, and securing loans for a supposed art foundation, all while deceiving people into believing she was a wealthy socialite.
The Scamanda Podcast
The stories behind Anatomy of Lies, Inventing Anna, and the Scamanda podcast all center on individuals who fabricated elaborate lies to deceive those around them for personal gain. Anatomy of Lies explores how Grey’s Anatomy writer Elisabeth Finch falsely claimed to have cancer and other traumas, which she wove into the show’s scripts, until her lies were exposed. Inventing Anna tells the tale of Anna Sorokin, who posed as a wealthy German heiress in New York, conning her way into elite circles and defrauding banks, hotels, and friends out of large sums of money before being caught. The Scamanda podcast recounts the shocking story of Amanda C. Riley, who faked having cancer to gain sympathy and donations, manipulating her community through social media and her church. All three stories highlight the devastating impact of deception, exploring themes of ambition, manipulation, and the human desire for status and attention.
The Best Fictional Lie Drama: Tell me Lies
Tell Me Lies on Hulu is a drama series adapted from Carola Lovering’s novel, revolving around the toxic and manipulative relationship between two college students, Lucy Albright and Stephen DeMarco. The story unfolds over eight years, showing how their tumultuous relationship impacts their lives and those around them. The drama is hot, and the soundtrack SLAPS. There’s also lots of slaps in the show, too.
At its core, the show is about strategic lying and manipulation. The characters frequently withhold the truth or twist it to manipulate others for their own benefit. Stephen, in particular, is a master manipulator, adept at using people’s emotions against them. His relationships are built on deception, and his ability to lie convincingly enables him to control and influence those around him.
Diana, one of Stephen’s ex-girlfriends, plays a crucial role in this web of deceit. In one instance, she lies to Stephen about her performance on the LSATs (Law School Admission Test). Instead of being honest, she downplays her success, telling Stephen she didn’t do well. This lie is strategic: it allows her to maintain a sense of control and appear more vulnerable in Stephen’s eyes, influencing how he views her. It also reflects the power dynamics in their relationship, where both characters manipulate each other to gain emotional leverage.
The series captures how lies, both big and small, shape the relationships between the characters, leaving them in a constant state of emotional tension and mistrust.
How to Lie Effectively
Now, I am not advocating lying. But it is clear that lying is an inevitable thing – and it can easily snowball into a whole different identity. Why did all these people lie? It’s not because they are inherently assholes. It’s because they all wanted something. They wanted success. The problem was, they got too greedy and didn’t know when to quit. So if people are going to lie anyway, at least be strategic about it! Here are the top tips for being a good liar (on occasion).
Know your audience
One important aspect of lying is understanding the psychology of the person you are lying to. People are more likely to believe a lie if it aligns with their preconceived notions or desires. This is known as confirmation bias. By tailoring your lie to fit the beliefs or desires of the person you are lying to, you increase the chances of them accepting it as truth. For example, if someone strongly believes in the benefits of a particular diet, you could lie about following that diet to gain their trust.
Tell a good story
Another psychological tactic to consider is the power of storytelling. Humans are naturally drawn to narratives, and a well-crafted story can make a lie more convincing. When telling a lie, try to incorporate vivid details and emotions to make it more believable. By engaging the listener’s imagination, you can create a more compelling and persuasive lie.
Yet you don’t want to go into too many details that are easily “fact-checked”. This was a mistake of another famous liar, Meghan Markle – as detailed in MANY videos, the below being one example:
Watch your body language
Nonverbal cues also play a crucial role in successful lying. Research has shown that body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can all influence how a lie is perceived. To appear more convincing, it is important to control these nonverbal cues. Maintaining eye contact, speaking confidently, and using appropriate gestures can all help to enhance the credibility of your lie. However, it is important to note that these cues can also be detected by astute observers, so it is essential to be mindful of your body language and practice consistency.
Timing is everything
Timing is another critical factor in successful lying. Choosing the right moment to tell a lie can significantly impact its effectiveness. People are more likely to believe a lie when they are distracted, inebriated, or emotionally vulnerable. By waiting for the opportune moment, you can increase the chances of your lie being accepted without suspicion. However, it is important to exercise caution and consider the potential consequences of your lie, as timing alone does not guarantee success.
Learn from the grifter drama: Lying can be addictive
Lastly, it is important to be aware of the potential ethical implications of lying. And how it can come back to bite you in the proverbial ass. As all of the stories above show, the principle mistake is that all of the “liars” got too greedy. They could have had a clean slate. But they wanted more and more, and lying itself became another form of addiction. And addiction, as many people are painfully aware, destroys the lives of addicts and almost everyone in their path.
While lying can sometimes be justified, it is essential to consider the potential harm it may cause. Lies can erode trust, damage relationships, and have long-lasting consequences. It is crucial to weigh the benefits and risks before deciding to lie.
Lying on the internet: A bad idea
As some of these stories show, what lives on the internet lives forever. I was taught never to email, message, or post something I would not want to appear on the front page of the New York Times the next day. That is old-fashioned advice, but it is true. Images are searchable, locations are verifiable, and details can easily be fact checked years and years later. So know that if you are stretching the truth, it could snap back to hurt you and take you down. Even if your memory fades, the internet remembers forever.
What’s the point? Am I advocating lying?
NO!!! !
Even Princess Kate couldn’t get away with it! While she made everyone who called her out bad for doing so when she actually had cancer, the point is that instead of staying silent, she still tried to deceive the world. Unlike her, most of us don’t have the clout to tell the Associated Press to scrub the Interwebs of all proof of our deceit.
The bottom line: no matter how royal, regal, honorable, or celestial WE ALL LIE. So my point is, if you are going to do it, at least don’t be an amateur.
