Forbes magazine predicts that this Thanksgiving travel levels will soar back to pre-pandemic levels, with about 2 million folks boarding planes. That is in addition to about 73 million adult Americans traveling by car, and the rest of the 109 million using other forms of transportation. In a recent survey by Vacationer, 44% of Americans will be hosting Thanksgiving, while over 46% will be traveling elsewhere.
So after a blackout year of doing holidays over Zoom, you actually now have to spend time with your relatives. Immediate, extended and in-laws. Some of whom may be potential saboteurs, pushing you to have booze, bread rolls and Aunt Ida’s specially made pie. There is chaos and awkwardness, express or implied judgement, and secret sidebars (some of which happen, cough, outside in the woods, cough). You may be stranded at a remote location with no gym and no car. You may be trekking to more than one set of families, have kids and dogs in tow, and have work anxiety hanging over your head like a dark cloud.
We all love our families, but the stress of compressed time, running around, travel, last minute work deadlines, obnoxious and delusional relatives, rando unininvited guests, and all that pressure to make it a “perfect day” can lead to the five stages of being wine drunk:
Cutting down on travel stress
If you can, volunteer to host Thanksgiving or Christmas (or whatever December holiday it is you may celebrate). This may seem like it’s more work for you, but the comfort of your own home PLUS the control you have over the menu and the way food is prepped will make it much easier to stay healthy. Also, you don’t even have to cook (much). You can ask everyone to bring a dish (and most people do), and you can order very good quality pre-made Thanksgiving meals from WholeFoods, Costco, and Cracker Barrell. Trader Joe’s has some amazing deals on Thanksgiving turkeys, or even Marie Calendar’s can have a meal for eight people ready to go. All of these recommendations can be found on the delish website, and there are also more options on this blog post from Sheknows. One great recommendation I found from these sites was from a place called GoldBelly, which allows you to customize each “piece” of the meal, and also has vegan options.
If you do have to travel for significant others’ family events, I suggest that you alternate, rather than try to do both sets of families at once. The extra pressure of going to two locations makes it likely that each experience will be less rich – not to mention you will be eating twice the food and drinking twice the drinks, and more likely to overindulge because of the stress.
Also, knowing when to travel is key. It’s not the best idea to leave Wednesday afternoon and return on Sunday morning. That is when the roads and the airports are going to be the most crowded. The best day to travel, especially by car, is early in the morning on Thanksgiving day. That’s because most people with travel plans will have already traveled on Tuesday or Wednesday. If you need to leave town earlier, traveling after 9pm or before 9am is still a better bet to avoid crowds on the roads. If you are traveling by plane, you should try to book an early morning flight, preferably non-stop, to avoid cascading consequences of delays and cancellations. See more travel insights from CNN here.
Cutting down on work stress
Working over the Thanksgiving Holiday may or may not be in your control. If you are an entrepreneur, you may feel as if you cannot afford to just check ouf of running your own business. For the corporate environment, we have all experienced the things that “blow up” right before a holiday – a deal that is closing, a new legislative package, a court case filing, exams coming up (if you are in grad school), or a meeting that is scheduled the week you get back that you have to prep for. We also have the conundrum of what to do when our managers seem to be working over Thanksgiving, and your inbox is bombarded with to-do lists and assignments the Wednesday beforehand.
The key in all of these scenarios is:
- Drawing boundaries: Unless you are in retail or your business is especially in a position to thrive over a holiday weekend, recognize that business will be slow over this weekend, and your energy spent on trying to get ahead or work with companies not in the US can rob you of a rare experience you have to bond with your family. In the corporate world, it may feel like everything is an emergency, and sometimes time is of the essence and just unavoidable. But try as hard as you can to check out Wednesday afternoon, and NOT check emails until after the holiday weekend, especially when there is nothing immediately coming up. Most of the time, things can get dealt with after the holiday, and everything else is just someone creating a false sense of urgency. By having your out of office reminder on, and previously notifying your team of your intention to travel or take the time for family, you have carved out this time and there is not reason to let someone else sabotage it. In most cases, as I have learned, that someone is ME.
- If work is unavoidable, siloing each one of these. If there is an unavoidable need to work, definitely carve out family time where you don’t check your email or have your laptop out – like the actual holiday, where it’s almost always impossible for anything to actually get done. Don’t try to do the sitting around with the fam with your laptop out thing. It will make both experiences suffer.
- Finally, recognize that the flurry of requests you may get from managers or clients are not asking you to work over Thanksgiving. It is more about a desire for those people to get on and have THEIR holidays, and part of that is getting what they need to do off of their plate. That’s going to include getting their ducks in a row by requesting team members to start moving parts. Unless it’s specified that the task is needed that Monday, don’t assume that it is. If you want extra reassurance, or just to look good to your boss, reply with, “Acknowledged, thank you. I will make this my first priority next week after we all come back from the holiday.” And if you are that manager, or boss, do be mindful of the example it is important to set about work-life balance. If you are scrambling to get things done Wednesday, or working extra on Friday, leave emails in draft form or “schedule send” them for Monday morning. A better rested team is a more productive team.
If anything, the idle time you may have would be good to spend on getting ahead of your professional reading, like that pile of articles you saved in Pocket or printed out. Or maybe there is that book you ordered to upskill your craft and only got into by a few pages. Or those podcasts you have queued up. This time when the pressure is off and it’s gone quiet are an opportunity for you to get ahead without just reacting.
Food and Family : How to minimize tensions and manage your food plan
Family stress and tensions are one of the biggest triggers for medicating with food and alcohol. Consider making family spent time quality time but a shorter time. We all know the feeling that you may have overstayed your welcome or vice versa. If you are traveling a longer distance, consider making the rest of the weekend a family or couple’s getaway at an air bnb. Or even consider hosting a “friendsgiving” before or after the family holiday because this will be in the company of people you choose to be with, and it can be something fun like a pot luck. Make plans to help out at a Soup kitchen or coat drive Thanksgiving day or the weekend after, so you can give back to your community and also have a reason not to hang around too long. No one should disparage you for doing your part to feed the community!
Whether you are the host or the guest, you can make healthy versions of Thanksgiving classics. Salads don’t look so tempting in the winter, but you can “winterize them”, for example, by adding cranberries (without the extra sugar), toasted pecans, beets and fennel. Turkey is the healthiest roasted, and jacket or mashed sweet potatoes can be a great alternative to traditional white mashed potatoes. If you want the white texture, you can also make cauliflower mashed potatoes. Finally, see below for my own take on Stove Top stuffing and green bean casserole. You can make apple pie with a whole grain crust, or a vegan version. (the linked blog, Chocolate Covered Katie, is generally great for healthy dessert ideas).
Don’t fall into the “scarcity trap.” Thanksgiving food doesn’ just magically appear for one week in November and then vanishes. You can buy all of this food and make it ANY time of year, or even have pre-made turkey meals
Beware of condiment caloriebombs, and make smart substitutions. In my post about condiment caloriebombs, I explain that an otherwise healthy food can be “bombed” by the wrong condiments. Classic examples of these at Thanksgiving are cranberry sauce and gravy. Now, on its own, cranberry sauce is fat-free and a great source of antioxidants that can even CLEAR UP ACNE, but canned versions especially add a ton of unnecessary added sugar, making it basically like dipping your turkey in frosting. Many recipes call for an entire cup of sugar. And pouring on that gravy can add hundreds of calories of mostly saturated fat. And with a large plate of food, it can skew your perception of what is actually a reasonable portion size. You can make a healthier version of cranberry sauce or gravy, which I have posted here in my recipes post. But other condiments go great with Thanksgiivng dishes, including ones that I have blogged about in my post about calorie-friendly condiments. Some examples of condiments I like to go with Thanksgiving food include hot sauce, (Texas Pete, Tabasco, or Cholula). If you are not familiar with Chutup continents, you should be. They make a beet ketchup, chutney, and peri-peri sauce (which is milder than traditional hot sauce).
If you are the captive guest: Thanksgiving meals should not be any different than any other meals. Fill up half of your plate with salad and veggies, and then use this portion size guide we talked about in this post for the rest. A palmful of protein, then a cupped hand of starch. Realistically, you will probably have more than one starch, so a cupped hand of each. Now, the bread rolls can get tricky – especially when there is a steamy basket full of hot rolls being passed around. The first bite is always the best bite, so take a bite and then put it to the side, and then eat the rest of your meal. It’s likely you are not going to want to finish the roll after that.
The type of drink you choose is not as important as pacing yourself. Wine is the most common denominator, but we all know it can get creative with eggnog, pumpkin pie vodka, and hot toddies. Even if it is just wne, it is super easy to lose track of what you are drining and help yourself when the room is strewn with #bottleseverywhere. Here’s a couple of ways you can manage your drinking on Thanksgiving.
- Don’t show up too early – a lot of the drinking takes place during the “idle” time while the meal prep is going on.
- Be a kitchen helper – the busier you are with the meal prep and helping out, the less time you have to sit around and drink. Plus what you will be drinking will be burned off through NEAT!
- Have SOME kind of drink in your hand. Start with a non-alcoholic bevvy, and most people won’t question why you aren’t partaking in the festivities.
- Be the designated driver, if you are a guest. If the meal includes an overnight stay, it still may be a good idea if you did drive to be positioned to leave in case things get dramatic.
- If you are a host, you have a built-in obligation to stay reasonably sober, so you can be attentive to all of the guests and get the food served!
- We ALL have that family member who drinks too much on Thanksgiving. Don’t let that person be you. And, here are 4 ways from a professional rehab center on how to deal with that one (or more person). Fun fact: Did you know that rehab centers get the MOST calls on Thanksgiving weekends, because that is the most often when families are together and the person who needs treatment cannot be ignored? Look, family is tense, and it can get hard, but if you really want motivation not to drink too much I highly recommend watching the movie Krisha. (an award-winning film about an addict that returns home for Thanksgiving that has definite horror movies material).
- Don’t be afraid to remove yourself for a while to take a break – but do so preferably not with scrollng through social. Down time is a great time to call a family member that couldn’t make it, or other friends or relatives. Take the dog for a walk. go play with the kids (which is more fun when they are not yours, and suprisingly a good cardio workout!).
Given that a lot of people anticipate eating a heavy meal during Thanksgiving, hitting the gym is actually pretty popular. So it may be worth checking to see what your gym or local workout studio has going on – most places, rather than close the entire holiday, will have limited hours and close early, so you can at least workout in the morning. SoulcCylce, for example, has a turkeyburn 90 minute ride! Even if you don’t have access to a gym or workout studio, as long as you can have a mat’s space to move, you can get a high-intensity interval training workout (HIIT) in. This puts your body in a state of EPOC, which means exercise post-oxygen consumption. Meaning you will be burning calories all day long! If you are at a relatives or in-laws house, and are worried that you will wake everyone up doing burpees, consider doing these workouts without shoes and barefoot (which actually can really help your form and is a lot more hygenic) or accessing a free workout from Madfit, which is especially designed for people who live in small apartments or sleeping babies! lternatively, you can make exercise a group activity and organize a family Turkey Trot, bike ride, or spin class. Anything to get out of the house and get moving. Madfit even has a 10 minute dance party workout. Or you can do what I do and play “Only Happy When it Rains” and grab a couple of hairbrushes. Good to go!
Frontloading working out can be a good way to make the Thursday and Friday two consecutive rest days. The point of holidays are to rest, so as long as you don’t go overboard on all the feasting, you will be find with not working out for a couple of days.
The morning (and week after)
Manage post-holiday stress and blues
Even if the holiday was smooth sailing, there is the inevitable post-holiday letdown feeling. You can feel a little depressed, physically fatigued, or just stressed about going back to work. Here are some ways to stay upbeat:
- Sign up for a new kind of workout class or race – a new project can be distracting and an active one can make you feel good about yourself. Hop over to my HOT LIST POST to see my experience with trying ballet
- Watch feel-good movies like one of these rom-coms while deep conditioning your hair.
- Volunteer for a good cause – this is really the season of giving. If you have leftovers, either from your own cooking or that you were sen home with, drop by the local church drive and homeless shelter and donate it. There are definitely people who can use that food and have not had the fortune of a home cooked meal. Many organizations, including local gyms, do clothing and coat drives.
- Get your shopping done early, and in person. It will take a lot of the pressure off to have your holiday gift shopping done by the end of December. Shopping in person can also keep you more active. Now that many of us have more flexible working schedules, we have the option to shop in more off-peak hours (between 11am and 3pm on weekdays are usually the best time to go.). Putting more thought into someone than a gift card can take your mind off of stress and keep your spirits up.
- All lightness aside, SAD is a real thing – so head over to my post about the Winter Blues for more coping mechanisms.